Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Adjustments

Sigh. I feel like I've been living out of my body for the last week. Like I've been watching this whole ordeal happen to someone else. I'm really glad that Mom died peacefully, but without all the drama it's been difficult to convince myself it's all real. I've been out to her grave every day. I've cried a couple of times. Other than that, I haven't really cried. I'm not sure why. I'm such an emotional person, I thought I would have been balling 24/7. Is something wrong with me? Is this how I'm grieving? I don't like it. I think if I could just cry, then all this hurt would get better. I pray that God will help me get thru this, in my own way, but to know that I'm coping. I kinda feel like I'm struggling to take each breath, but at the same time numb to everything around me.

In other news, I got some cool lighting equipment for my business! I can't wait to play with it and take some cool shots! I'll post when I do get around to taking some more pics.

2 comments:

Amber said...

who are you, shieldmaiden? Yeah, I started a photography business this year. It still doesn't bring in enough to be my only source of income, though. I'm going to need to find another job soon. But what? I don't want to go back to where I was before taking care of Mom. But I need some moolah. What should I do?!?

Shannon said...

You could work at a studio like PCA or Lifestyles. It's a great way to network and get more clients. Not to mention that it will look good as a previous experience kind of thing. I know that that is wee I learned how to get a kid to sit for the camera.

On a side note: I'm sorry I didn't call, It was weird. I knwo it was weirder for you, but I was having a hard time. I'll write you more.