Adjustments

Sigh. I feel like I've been living out of my body for the last week. Like I've been watching this whole ordeal happen to someone else. I'm really glad that Mom died peacefully, but without all the drama it's been difficult to convince myself it's all real. I've been out to her grave every day. I've cried a couple of times. Other than that, I haven't really cried. I'm not sure why. I'm such an emotional person, I thought I would have been balling 24/7. Is something wrong with me? Is this how I'm grieving? I don't like it. I think if I could just cry, then all this hurt would get better. I pray that God will help me get thru this, in my own way, but to know that I'm coping. I kinda feel like I'm struggling to take each breath, but at the same time numb to everything around me.

In other news, I got some cool lighting equipment for my business! I can't wait to play with it and take some cool shots! I'll post when I do get around to taking some more pics.

Funeral Details

Here's the details:

Visitation: Thursday, 6-9 pm, @ Searcy-Mceuen funeral home.

Funeral: Friday, 10 am, @ College Church of Christ.

Burial: After funeral @ Oak Grove (behind College church/beside Downtown church)

Peaceful Passing

Well, it's happened. My momma is gone. She finally got her beautiful reward today. She passed away at about 1.30 this afternoon. It was a peaceful time. I'd never seen anyone die before, but it was not scary. I had a wonderful feeling of peace as we were watching her body die. I know that we were surrounded by angels. And I know that she is with God now. I just wanted to let you all know.

Mother's Day 2006

My mommie. We share quite a special bond. Her love surpasses all others. It is stronger, longer, wider, deeper than any other human's. God is the only one who's love is bigger. This mother's day is unique for us. It is our last mother's day together. What do you do when you know that it is the last day that you will celebrate her mothering while she is still alive? My husband and I went to Hallmark the other day to get a mother's day card for his mom. I didn't even plan on looking for one for mine. I started reading the cards and couldn't help but think about my mom and how this is it. This is the last one. One of my good friends showed up and she said, "But you never know when she'll have a moment of clarity. And it could be that moment." So I treked through the cheesy, funny, lame, and heartless cards to find a soft, gentle, and appropriate card. I know she won't be able to respond much to the card when I read it to her, but I know she still hears me. And I know that I won't be able to read it to her without balling my eyes out. But I also know that reading/crying her that card will be a special moment that I will treasure forever.

My first prom

Well, I went to my first prom ever tonight. No, it wasn't actually mine. I took photos for a really teeny tiny school. It was fun, for the most part. I took lots of pictures, ate some good food, and watched lots of kids (and adults, too) dance.

Next time, my husband is coming along! ;)
(that's for you, D!)

New Pictures!

So I've been having trouble posting recently. These pics are from a session I did a couple of weeks ago. Hopefully, they'll come through alright. Enjoy!

Stormy Weather

We had a storm the other night. There was a tornado actually. And guess what?! I saw it!! The first one I've ever seen. Of course, I didn't get a picture of it... :( Oh well. I did get a picture of the lightning storm that night though. You could see the bolts of lightning; they didn't hit the ground. All of it was in the clouds. It was really cool.

Enjoy!

Tulsa

This past weekend, we went to Tulsa for a workshop. It was so much fun! We went to tons of classes, learned a whole lot about unity and "emerging church" type of stuff. We had wonderful times of worship and praise, and we met up with some old friends. Some of our friends are kiwis, or New Zealanders. It was so energizing to be around them, but it made us yearn for NZ. We're trying desperately to find a way to get to NZ sooner, so we could really use prayers to wait on God's timing and to know when that is.

Here are a few pics of the weekend. Also, you guys need to check out the band Shades of Green. They're totally awesome! I went to school with one of the members, and I know they will make it big! They're website is www.shadesofgreenmusic.com. Go check them out!

My true first gig ever

Okay, somewhere along the way, I forgot about the very first wedding that I took pictures at. It was an intimate little wedding. I took these pictures before I ever thought about doing photography full time. I used a 35mm film camera with black and white film. I had the shutter speed too slow, considering the lights were dimmed. But nonetheless, here they are. They are raw, but still show the emotion of such a blessed event. This one's for you, Jess and Dan! Congrats on making this a beautiful committment!

My favorite thing to photograph

These are two photos from a shoot I did almost three years ago. These are my favorite TYPE of photos to do. I LOVE to photograph pregnant women. I don't know why, but I love the big bellies. I am fasinated with them. I have another friend who is about to give birth soon. We're going to do a shoot soon, so hopefully I'll have some new photos to share.

Some more!

Okay, here's a couple more. I could really use some opinions about the "blurry" one. I really like it because it's almost got a cool, artsy-fartsy feel to it. But I'm not sure it looks that way to everyone else...especially the bride and groom. Should I keep it for my website (that I don't even have yet)? Should I even give a copy to the couple? Help! What do you all think?!?

Pics from my first gig!

Here are just a few pics from the wedding I did this past weekend! It was my first wedding ever, so keep that in mind! Also, I haven't done any cool effects to the pics yet. They are just the way I took them. I hope you all enjoy. Your comments are welcome and much appreciated!!

My first gig!

Okay, so I have my first photo gig ever! It's coming up this Sunday. It's a wedding, and I am all of a sudden nervous that I can't do this. What in the world makes me think that I can take pictures for people of their wedding?!?

Well, I can't back out now. So here's hoping I know what I'm doing....or at least will learn quickly!

Wish me luck...I think I might need it.

More pics!

Here are a few more shots for you all! Two are from a wedding I went to this past weekend. The other two are really cool! It's fire!!! (Pyro in me coming out!)

This is a test...testing 1 2 3

Okay, this is one of those crazy personality tests that people sometimes send you. This test only had two questions. And it was surprisingly accurate. Here is a little insight into who I am... the Romantic Test finished!

you chose BY - your Enneagram type is FOUR. "I am unique" Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive. How to Get Along with Me Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me. Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself. Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision. Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little. Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting! What I Like About Being a Four my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level my ability to establish warm connections with people admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor being unique and being seen as unique by others having aesthetic sensibilities being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me What's Hard About Being a Four experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved feeling guilty when I disappoint people feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me expecting too much from myself and life fearing being abandoned obsessing over resentments longing for what I don't have Fours as Children Often have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original game s are very sensitive feel that they don't fit in believe they are missing something that other people have attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc. become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce) Fours as Parents help their children become who they really are support their children's creativity and originality are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings are sometimes overly critical or overly protective are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages